From Pastors Interviewed:

When people experience tragedy in their lives, how do they typically respond?

  1. Many who experience loss in life find themselves desperate for answers… Any answers.
  2. People who’ve had more than one loss in quick succession begin doubting if there’s a God who cares.
  3. People dealing with the loss of a home are confused and
  4. don’t know where to turn. If it’s due to a disaster, many times they’ve lost everything they own.
  5. Desperate…disoriented…depressed
  6. People who are suffering often get angry, so they lash out at God and others.
  7. They stop going to church, even though the church is available for help.
  8. When living with a tragedy, family life disintegrates.
  9. People feel guilty and helpless.
  10. Secondary losses can be a significant part of the impact of the initial loss.
  11. Sleep after loss is a challenge. They can’t get adequate rest.
  12. People don’t prepare for loss. It usually takes them by surprise.
  13. People walk around for years with deep pain, not knowing what to do to recover. Quality of life suffers.
  14. When dreams are dashed, hope becomes illusive.
  15. Many walk away from the church and God. It’s been reported that ninety percent will not return to the Lord in any significant way.

 

 

Why people never return to the church after loss

  1. They feel betrayed by God, and others can’t relate.
  2. If people are not taught to anticipate suffering and loss their lives can spin out of control.
  3. If they don’t understand what the Scriptures teach about these kinds of experiences before their significant loss, they become bitter and hard-hearted.
  4. Their lives become a gaping wound, and they seek relief elsewhere.

What can be done to prevent this cycle

  1. Create an awareness that life can be this way. After experiencing his own personal loss, Job said, “Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity” (Job 2:10).
  2. Develop a culture of compassionate caring. Loss happens in each life. No one is immune.
  3. Train those who can step into another’s loss, confident they won’t do the wrong thing and make it worse. It been noted that many back away from others in need because of inadequacy and fear.
  4. Do the necessary preparation for all. Any age can be affected by significant loss and suffering.
  5. Have adequate resources on hand to address tragedy and crisis.
  6. Have pastoral staff trained in these specific ways and who are willing to teach their churches to do the battle toward wholeness when faced with loss.

What can help

  1. Meditating on various Scriptures which teach about God’s character and His faithfulness in trials.
  2. Seeing examples from the Bible regarding difficult life experiences and God’s work in people’s lives. He is a God of miracles.
  3. A friend who shows love and acceptance. Coming alongside someone who is suffering is a cherished gift.
  4. Giving materials one can read when they are alone. Helpful resources allow one to go through the process of healing at their own pace.
  5. Realizing they are not alone. People care and God is working on their behalf to bring them through.
  6. Regular, honest prayers. Emptying the well of sadness to the One who understands our hurt. Crying out for help and looking for God’s grace.
  7. A book of deeper devotions, not simplistic homilies.
  8. A supportive Bible study with others that meets regularly.
  9. When individuals walk with the Lord through the pain, time helps.
  10. Practical, Biblically-sound material that gives direction as to next steps.
  11. Talking to others in a safe environment. Ideally, these should be those who have experienced loss and have made progress rebuilding their lives with the help of the Lord.
  12. People who will listen, won’t condemn, or give easy solutions to complex and sensitive issues.
By : Dave Weikel /February 17, 2016 /By His Design Blog /Comments Off on From Pastors Interviewed:

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  • About By His Design

    Dave and Beth Weikel have worked in full-time ministry, business, and public education for over 30 years. God is using their season of loss to provide hope and healing for others.
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